10. Get a Tattoo, 65. Visit an Art Museum, and 130. New Hair Do

10. Get a Tattoo
65. Visit an Art Museum
130. New Hair Do

August 22, 2015

I decided to do something different and a little drastic with my hair. I wasn't sure if I liked it, but I went for it. ha ha.



John, Cameron and I decided to spend the day hanging out. First stop, the art museum. We went to the Springfield Art Museum. I had never been, surprisingly. It was a lot of fun. At the end, we went to the gift shop and saw some temporary tattoos, so we decided to get them.

After the museum, we went to Bambinos for dinner and then to see the movie Straight Out of Compton.

Fun Day.

126. Participate in a Half Marathon

126. Participate in a Half Marathon


Half marathon number 2. To say that I wasn't prepared would be an understatement. I signed up on a whim after a pastor at church had asked how my running was going. He talked to me a for a while and said I should sign up for the Run for the Ranch half because its an easy 4x loop and its flat. After thinking about it, and lacking motivation for the past few months, I decided to go for it. One, because I thought for sure this would help me get back in to it. And two, because I wanted a medal. We all know I have a thing for medals.

So I did it. I signed up a month before the race. And then life and job and everything got in the way of training. The morning of the race, I woke up and I did not want to go. I felt self conscious. I felt insecure. I felt like it wasn't worth it. But there was a small part of me that said "do it for the medal." So I woke up and got ready. Still trying to convince myself to go. I got in the car and felt decent about going. Then I pulled up and I wanted to turn back around. Here I was, out of shape and in no way ready to run this. I had my mind made up to walk. And thanks to my doctors appointment two days before I would be walking. I felt alone.

Then I got a call. The same pastor from above called me to find out where I was in the crowd. I thought he was just coming to say hi. Instead, he said he had fell and couldn't run but still wanted to walk, so he asked if I could use a walking partner. Before he called, I was about a minute away from leaving. But I stayed. We walked for almost 4 hours together. We finished. I was not easy. It was easier than my first because I was in a "whatever" frame of mind. There were no crowds of my friends and family waiting for me at the end. There was no fear of disappointing anyone but myself. It was really just me and myself walking. Yes, my pastor was there, but I was finally doing something for me.

I don't know if I would say it was my favorite, because if I'm honest it was a little anti-climatic crossing the finish line with no cheering squad, but personally, it was the best for my mind. I overcame my insecurities and faced it. Did I mention the medal is silver and blue??? LOVE!!!

165. DIY Project

165. DIY Project


Bri and I both turned 30 this last year. We decided early on that we wanted to do something with each other to celebrate being 30. So we decided on a do-it-yourself project: mugs!

We spent a morning talking about life and decorating our mugs.

175. Go to a Springfield Cardinals Game

O175. Go to a Springfield Cardinals Game

July 4th, 2015


John, Cameron and I got the all-inclusive seats for the July 4th Springfield Cardinals game. It was a blast. The fireworks were okay, but the company was awesome.

#117. Sign up for OMRR

#117. Sign up for OMRR (Ozark Mountain Ridge Runners)

So I've wanted to sign up for OMRR since I heard about it a few years ago. However, my insecurity and excuses have always gotten in the way. I am actually quite good at talking myself out of something I really want to do. It is something I have realized and am now trying to fight against. But I blame it on circumstances, but when it comes down to it, I am just afraid. Afraid that people will judge me. Afraid of meeting new people.

This past weekend, I decided I have had enough of talking myself out of things. I just to do it. So I did. (insert nervous smile here). Yes I am nervous about meeting new people. Yes I am scared people will judge me. But I am not who I used to me. I have grown so much in the past year. And I need to step out. So here goes...

114. Challenge Myself

114. Challenge Myself.


Challenge myself. That could be any number of things. After the craziness of the past few months, I have decided to get back to working on me. I have let circumstances, relationships, and outside forces get in the way of working on me. Some of those have had a positive influence, but some have had a negative influence. It's time to do me.

As I was going for a run last week, I realized I needed a new challenge in my life. Something to keep me accountable to myself. To make myself healthy. And not just physically, but mentally, socially, emotionally and spiritually. I've focused so much on being healthy physically that I let the other stuff go. I'm not saying I went to any extremes, but I didn't make decisions based on a healthy whole person. I made them simply based if it would be good physically. I'm probably not explaining myself well, but stick with me.

It takes more than physical health to make a person a healthy individual. You can run marathons and eat clean all you want, but if you are not making good decisions about what you do socially or dealing (or not) with your emotions, it will reflect eventually.

So I decided to start a challenge for myself. #100daysofhealth. I started yesterday (June 1st) and will continue through the second week in September. 100 days of good decisions. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Socially. Not that every decision every day will be good. That is not the purpose. I would end up beating myself up for the wrong decisions. But one decision a day will be a healthy one. I am going to document my healthy decisions. The goal is for it to become second nature to make good decisions.

So yay! We'll see how it goes. :)

My dad. One Year Later.

It's been a while since I have written something that wasn't on the 200 list. But it will probably be happening a lot more. 

My dad and I. 

April 24th marked the year since my dad passed away. There hasn't been a day that I don't think about him and want him here with me. I would give anything to have him here. But then I have to remind myself of something... the bigger picture. While I would love to have him here with me, he is in heaven. Pain free for the first time in years. And I keep him with me. It's not the same, I know. Trust me, I know. I would love to have him hold me in his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. But I don't have that. I have the memories and his voice inside my head telling me he loves me. 

In December 2013, four months before he passed away, my dad sent me a text that simply said "Praying for you Angie. And I love you very much. This year has been a hard year fro me. hope next year brings better things for the both of us....." As I read that now, I can't help but know that it came true. Its just not what either of us had in mind. We had planned to get together and start building a relationship again. But he is gone. He is pain free and cancer free now. And his death catapulted me into a year of transformation. It was a great but no great for me. It brought strength but it also brought suffering. 

On the year mark, John and I drove to Joplin. I had this 'big day' planned to honor my dad. I didn't know it would be as hard as it was. I was good while we were driving but the minute we turned on to Range Line, I just felt grief. I missed him so much. Driving to lunch, we passed places I went to growing up and all the memories, both good and bad, came rushing back. But I held myself together. Mainly because I didn't want to break down before going to eat. I'm a gross crier. We ate lunch at the restaurant that my dad and I went to a couple of times. It's the same one my friends and I went to after the funeral. It was good, but I just wasn't hungry. Half way through John asked me how I was doing. He knows me well enough to know I wasn't doing well. It was hard to be there. It felt more real a year later. 

As we paid and started walking to the car, John gave me a hug and I lost it. Even writing this now, I am tearing up. I miss my dad. I feel like this past year has been grieving his loss. But now, its more grieving the future and things he won't be around for. To walk me down the aisle. Father-daughter dance. Meet my future husband. Be there as I cross the finish line of my first half marathon. To go to Cardinals game with. Or take my kids to games and teach them about baseball or how to play the guitar. There are days now, that I see something that reminds me of him and I just want to text him. I forget that he isn't here. And that breaks my heart. 

I still find myself breaking down and I have to be easy on myself. I tend to think that I should be "over it" or at least more over it than I am at this point. I feel like I've made so much progress in dealing with things that I should be able to move on. But do you ever move on from loosing a parent? I don't think you can. I think it is something that is with you every day. I think its how you react to the grief that helps you. I am realizing, with the help of great friends, that it's okay to not be okay sometimes. But I can't stay in that mind frame all the time. 

After I pulled myself together, John and I drove the half marathon course. I grew up in Neosho and we drove to Joplin almost every weekend to go to dinner, the mall, or grocery shopping. And my dad lived in Joplin for close to 15 years before he died. So I'm pretty familiar with Joplin. When I looked at the course on my phone, it couldn't really tell where we would be running, so I wanted to drive it. There are reminders of my dad all through the track... a Steve's Auto Body (his name was Steve), the funeral home, his home, places that he and I would go to, etc. It was bitter sweet. I want my dad there when I cross the finish line. But he will be with me along the course. Little reminders that he is with me in my memories. I can't help but think he would be proud of me.