How things are supposed to be...

"what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be"


Isn't that the truth? It is in my life. Growing up I have always had this vision or dream of how I wanted things to turn out for my life. The house, the job, the family, the car, even down to the type of dog I would want. I'm a planner that is what I do. 

However, like the quote states, that can really screw a person up. Don't get me wrong, planning and dreaming are important. I feel you need things to look toward and goals to have in order to keep moving forward. It is when those ideas you have in your head aren't happening or you become so wrapped up in what you don't have to to realize what you do have, is when it becomes messed up. 

Maybe it's the new year, maybe it's the challenging conversations I've been having with people lately, but I've thought about this a lot lately. I have this idea in my head of how I thought and still think my life should be at the age of 27. I think I should be 'living the dream,' be in a relationship, have a place of my own. Instead, I am barely getting by, living paycheck to paycheck, single, and living with friends. It's not what I pictured at all. Some days I can't help but question why things haven't happened for me yet. 

Why am I so focused on what I don't have? My life is pretty great. I have awesome people surrounding me, great place to live, a good job that I like (even if the pay isn't great). If I finally get those things that I ever long for, will I be happy? My money is on no. I can't continue to believe that these things that are on this list of what I want will make me happy. I have to pick to be happy now. I am choosing to be content. 

It isn't wrong for me to want those things. Those are things I can continue to work toward and dream about. But my challenge to myself this year is to not let it be a focus. Instead I am going to focus my life on the things I have now. Live in the present. Be. 

I know my first reaction to this is to say easier said than done. But I don't have a choice. I have to be happy and be living life.