Thursday, December 13, 2012

Weigh-In

I have a love/hate relationship with my weigh-ins, which is why I haven't weighed in for a week. 

Today after work, I decided to go to the mall after work instead of going home. I knew if I went home, I wouldn't make it back to the weigh-in/meeting. Why I thought going to the mall two weeks before Christmas was a good idea, I'll never know. It was a nightmare. My emotional triggers were all there. The crowds. The couples. The clothes. All I wanted to do when I left was drive the 3 seconds to Mc Donald's drive-thru and down as much Dr. Pepper, fries, and hamburgers I could until I couldn't fit anything else in my body. But when I got to my car, I couldn't do it. I just sat in my car. I then decided to see if I could make it to a Weight Watcher's meeting. It was 5:50pm and the meeting started at 6pm. I told myself that if I could get there by 5:58pm I would go in. I hate being late because then everyone looks at you (or so I think they do- but they don't). I pulled in at 5:57pm. 

I was dreading walking in. I know that I haven't had the best of weeks sticking with my healthy choices, especially with parties and holiday festivities. But I weighed in and lost. I am now down 7.8 pounds. I am 3 pounds away from my 10% goal. Super excited. I felt like this was the extra push to get back on track. :)



Am I a WARRIOR??


It's official. I signed up to participate in the Warrior Dash in Kansas City next April. It will be the biggest physical challenge I've put myself in ever. 

I excited and nervous at the same time. I'm ready to challenge myself and prove to myself I can do it. But not only that, I want to prove to other people that someone can become a healthy person. 

134 Days till the Dash. 

Not gonna lie, I'm most excited about the medal, the fuzzy viking helmet, and the chance to do something different. 







Friday, November 23, 2012

Turkey Trot 2012





Yesterday, Thanksgiving Day 2012, I was able to mark something off my bucket list. I participated in the Springfield Turkey Trot. It was so much fun. It was exactly what I needed this week to help me get motivated again... well, that and some wise council and encouragement. 






According to the Springfield News Leader, there were over 8,500 people who participated in the Springfield Turkey Trot this year, making it one of the largest in its history. I wasn't sure if I would be able to run the whole way, so I signed up for walking in hopes I could jog/run some of it. Me and my dear friend, Sue, who coached me through the whole way. She is truly a gem and so encouraging. The first little bit, I was doing well. I was jogging and feeling great. However, I soon felt the cold air hit my lungs and it made it difficult to breathe. I kept pushing through and telling myself that even if I walked to the finish line, I was going to finish. Before long, we passed the 1 mile sign, and then we reached the half way mark. Before I knew it we had reached the final stretch. I decided as I saw the Finish Line approaching that I was going to run from the last stop light to the finish line. I would cross it running. And I did. I can never describe the joy I felt crossing that line. The awesomeness that was finishing something. It was amazing and slightly addicting. I wanna do it again. Since it was my first official race, I didn't really set any goals other than to finish and not be last. Here are my results. I thought I did very well for my first time and not really being able to breathe too well throughout the race. 

Turkey Trot
Angela Tanner
5294

Overall Place5698
Division NameF2529
Gender Place2995
Division Place390

Finish Time0:48:51
Pace15:46


After we finished, we went into the event center for some water and a banana. At this point, I thought that all the difficulty breathing would be going away soon, so I wasn't that concerned, besides, I was on a high of crossing the finish line. As the day went on, I could feel my lungs weren't getting any better. Since I didn't have insurance, I was trying to put off going to the ER as long as possible. But as I lay on the couch in a house, alone, I was nervous. What if I couldn't catch my breath enough to go to the ER? So I decided to go. It was a hard decision to make. I wanted to get better but I knew the consequences of going... it was going to cost. Then again, what is money if you die because you can't breathe. 

The decision to go alone wasn't as hard as I thought. Yes, I was nervous and scared but I knew that I needed to face this fear. I needed to do this on my own. Once I was back in a room, hooked up to machines, watching my pulse on the screen, I felt scared and alone. The room, while small, felt enormous. My pulse started racing and it got harder to breathe. I kept saying "I will fear not, for the Lord is with me," over and over again. After about five minutes, I finally felt peace. 

The nurse came in and then the doctor, both of which were super excited for me that I participated in the Turkey Trot. It was cool having people who don't even know me rejoice with me. The doctor ordered an inhaler and a breathing treatment, so they sent in a respiratory specialist. Long story short, I had a treatment and was sent home with an inhaler and spacer (tube that hooks to the inhaler).


I am very thankful for the kindness I was shown by the doctor, nurses, and specialists. I am also thankful for my friends who have shown me sooo much encouragement. I love you all and could not have done this with out you. So when's the next 5k??? :) 



Friday, November 9, 2012

Confessions of an Emotional Eater

Life is roller coaster of emotions. It is full of situations one can not, and should not try to predict. And for someone who loves to plan out life and daily activities, this can be a challenge. A sometimes fun challenge, as something new and unexpected happens causing excitement and happiness. And a sometimes not so fun challenge as a single text or word spoken can bring up some major issues you have to deal with in your own life. That is what this week has been... a fun, frustrating, stressful roller coaster of emotions.

While the first part of the week had a few downs, it was for the most part happy. I was excited to start this journey and get out of this box I seemed to have placed myself in. The second half of the week however seemed a little more frustrating. I'm not saying some huge monumental event happened this week, and if I told you the particular instances in which I am referring, most people would be like, "really, you're getting upset over that?."

However, to someone, like myself, who is an emotional eater trying to get healthy, it is those little things that can drive someone to get away their feelings of frustration, anger, etc. Those times when things seem to be falling apart, and all you know to do is to turn to food, because that's all you've ever done. When things are bad, you eat. When things are good, you eat. When things may seem to look like they are going to go good/bad, you eat. That is all I've ever know. If I had a bad day, you could tell because if you looked at my bank statement, all you would see are fast food, ice cream and junk.

Emotional eating, I am finding, is one of the biggest challenges to this journey to health. It covers so much more than just physical health, but mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It affects every aspect, which is probably why I'm realizing early on it is something I must deal with head on. I must face this part of me that wants to run to food for comfort, rather than the support of friends, the comforting arms of a Heavenly father, or even myself.

My challenge to myself for the next week is to find ways to deal with the emotions, other than eating them away. I may find ways that work great, and I may find ways that do not work for me. Either way, I want to be in control of my body. I want to feed it what it needs based on healthy choices, not based on my emotions.

“When we give up dieting, we take back something we were often too young to know we had given away: our own voice. Our ability to make decisions about what to eat and when. Our belief in ourselves. Our right to decide what goes into our mouths. Unlike the diets that appear monthly in magazines or the thermal pants that sweat off pounds, unlike a lover or a friend or a car, your body is reliable. It doesn't go away, get lost, stolen. If you will listen, it will speak.” 
― Geneen RothBreaking Free from Emotional Eating


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

November Goals


November 2012 Goals:

It's a new month, although I am starting a bit late. November will be the first full month I will be on this new journey. I've started this journey several times before but I am bound and determined to not give up on myself this time. I have decided to set goals for myself at the beginning of each month. This will help me to stay on track and have small little accomplishments along the way. This month will bring challenges because of Thanksgiving, holidays and busy schedules. But when December 1st comes, I want to look back on November with  I want to look back on November with thankfulness that I was able to stay committed to my goals. This does not mean that I won't make mistakes. I'm human. This means that at the end of the month I will know I have done the best I can do.

So here we go...
      • Lose 8 pounds this month from the November 5th weigh in -- I need to lose 6 more pounds this month. 
      • Exercise 3 times a week. I really want to start making it a part of my weekly routine. 
      • Make 2 new recipes this month.
      • Drink a gallon (128 oz.) water every day. 
      • Eat breakfast every day. 




The Reasons Why

You don't know where you're going until you know where you've been. 

For that reason, I made a list of reasons why I want to be healthy. 

*not in any particular order*


 Why I want to be healthy...

  1. For me and no one else
  2. To not be the person who always has to sit in the front seat because they can’t fit in the back seat with 2 other people
  3. I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror
  4. To look good in gym clothes
  5. To enjoy running
  6. To surpass any goal I set
  7. To crave healthy food instead of fast food
  8. Because I’m tired of being underestimated
  9. Because I’m tired of making excuses
  10. Because its time for change in my life
  11. To do the things I’ve never dared to dream about
  12. To be strong mentally and physically
  13. Because pain is temporary, quitting is forever
  14. To not worry about pictures taken and how I look
  15. To change the perspective of myself, mentally and physically
  16. To be an example to my family
  17. Because this is my therapy
  18. To give my body the respect it deserves
  19. To do what most women won’t
  20. Because it maybe hard now, but it will be worth it
  21. Because I deserve to conquer my impossible
  22. To not be the one who can’t keep up
  23. Because what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger
  24. To be fit for life
  25. To prove to myself I am STRONG